by Xania Monet · 2024
The song “How Was I Supposed to Know?” by Xania Monet is about a woman reflecting on how the absence of a loving and present father shaped her understanding of love and relationships, leading to heartbreak and low standards, but ultimately vowing to heal and break the cycle for herself and her future daughter.
This song has been Shazamed over 62,867 times. As of this writing, How Was I supposed to Know? is ranked 184
‘How Was I supposed to Know?’ by Xania Monet is a song about growing up without a father’s guidance and how that affects understanding love. We’re about to break down what this song really means and why it feels so important. ⬇️
️ The song unfolds in a haze of longing and regret, where the world feels both tender and unforgiving. Xania Monet crafts a narrative of searching, of wounds inherited and lessons never taught.
The chorus is where the ache sharpens—”How was I supposed to know what love looked like? When daddy never showed me what felt right.” We hear confusion and raw honesty, a desperate yearning for a template she never received. As we listen, we can’t help but ask ourselves: how do we learn love if our first teacher never showed up?
In the verses, Xania traces the gaps left by her absent father, using lines like “So I chased love with an open wound” and “Her mama raised a queen with a wounded crown” to spotlight the invisible scars. There’s a visceral sense of stumbling through relationships, mistaking pain for devotion and settling for scraps disguised as gold. Every lyric drips with the ache of seeking validation, fighting to rewrite her own definition of love while still patching the holes in her heart.
Yet, there’s a subtle thread of hope, stitched through heartbreak and self-awareness, as she vows, “I promise one day I’ll be free / Of the love that never covered me.” The song doesn’t just dwell in sorrow; it’s a roadmap of relearning, a promise to set higher standards, and, perhaps most poignantly, a pledge to teach her own daughter what she herself never knew.
✨ The ‘A-ha’ moment lands softly but powerfully: Xania Monet isn’t just telling her story—she’s breaking the cycle, turning inherited pain into generational healing.
Writer(s) of How Was I supposed to Know?:
